January 12, 2008

Quarantine Landfill


The mountains meet the sea. The city skyline unfolds before you. A majestic bridge spans the channel. Huge exotic birds congregate to celebrate the bounty.

Welcome to Baltimore's Quarantine Landfill, high above Hawkins Point - a national park in the making. Nature took millions of years to create the Grand Canyon and its surrounding mountain ranges, but mankind's natural predilection for throwing things away should lead to much faster glory.

The Quarantine Landfill actually consists of several mountain peaks, thus emulating its natural counterparts. At least one of them should be opened to tourists and gawkers as soon as possible. Just build a road to the top, with an observation deck and a gift shop. The view of the Chesapeake Bay, the Key Bridge, the Baltimore city skyline and the surroundings will be spectacular.

So also will be the view of the remaining landfill, which is still a work in progress. The surface of the moon doesn't look as alien as this landscape. The chemicals in the air are even more otherworldly. Birds love it. Who says that wildlife is threatened by the chemicals that mankind spews forth?

Once Mount Baltimore National Park Phase I is opened to the public, all eyes will be focused upon the view of adjacent Mount Baltimore National Park Phase II. We should build the remaining landfill as high as possible. The state of the art in advanced soil mechanics should be put to the test to pile the remaining trash higher and higher and higher - a height as near to God as mankind can muster. Melt the wings of Sisyphus as we fly toward the sun.

So as Baltimore begins its latest recycling program, please remember that no piece of trash should be left behind. We should dedicate all of it to making the Quarantine Road landfill as tall and magnificent as possible.


  1. Beautiful.

    Used to haul krep from the neighborhood there all the time: the view from Quarantine was worth the price of a small hauler's permit.

    Did you mean Icarus (melted wings) instead of Sysiphus (pushing a rock up a hill again and again)?

    Both are apt, come to think of it.

  2. Finally,someone can see the beauty in even the bowels of Baltimore.Thanx ,I thought maybe the sweet aroma of productivity had clouded my brain.

  3. Humankind would be a much more inclusive word than mankind.