August 21, 2017

Urban fast-food-ology: Economics and acculturation

What has been the most economically successful enterprise in the Station North arts district over the years? Hint: It's the one that has been scrupulously left out of the pictures of the glorious newly renovated Parkway Theater nextdoor on North Avenue. It's in marked contrast to the recent closure of Club Charles, the singular iconic noir bar around the corner where John Waters reportedly hung out. No, the most successful is McDonald's.

Looking east along North Avenue (to the left) toward McDonald's,
 with the newly renovated and reopened Parkway Theater in the background.
Most people think of franchised fast food as a suburban phenomenon, but it works in an urban context as well. Uniform standardization is its theme, but there are revealing differences as well. Is fast food a blight on the city, like slums, potholes and unemployment? Is it a threat to urban culture and charm? Those are subjective questions, unlike the mass market approach that franchised fast food aims for.

But fast food's standardization is very useful to scientific analysis, enabling the isolation of variables so that they can be evaluated as objectively as possible.

Newly renovated and reopened Parkway Theater image by architects, Ziger/Snead. The North Avenue McDonald's
is hidden behind the tree to the right. Charles Street is shown to the left, looking south.

Franchised fast food Economics 101


I recently took a delightful walk through Patterson Park to my local Taco Bell between Fayette Street and Pulaski Highway in North Highlandtown to get a huge delicious Double Chalupa along with two beefy Locos Tacos and all-you-can-pour soft drinks, all for the low nationally advertised price of five dollars.

Except the mega-million dollar Yum Brands national advertising blitz didn't apply to Baltimore City. Our local loco Taco Bell franchisista raised its price to $5.99 for the same Cravings Deal. Then the lady behind the counter asked me if I wanted to contribute another dollar to some needy kids cause, which would have raised it to $6.99. I told her that Taco Bell should contribute that extra dollar they've already charged me to the kids instead. If I really wanted to self-righteously flaunt my microeconomics, I could have said they could charge a dollar for parking so that car-bound suburbanites could pay their rightful share.

Of course, Economics 101 reveals that the real reason they charged the extra dollar is simply because they can, since I bought it anyway. And that extra dollar goes to support the city's macro-economy, however the economy sees fit and optimizes itself.

And so it goes with franchised fast food. It's a great way to evaluate our city's cultural, economic and other influences and impacts because there's such product uniformity across city and state lines that the differences stand out. Baltimore is thus confirmed to be a high-cost jurisdiction because the price is a dollar more than the rest of the country (except maybe New York, Alaska, Hawaii and few other places) and even higher when social costs are factored in.

And that's despite Baltimore's plentiful low-skill labor force. Now there's a movement to raise the city's minimum wage by over fifty percent to $15 an hour. How much more will a Cravings Meal Deal cost in the city than the suburbs then?

Cutting-edge upscale fast food emporiums like the one in Harbor Point are already preparing for such expensive labor by having its mostly young tech-savvy clientele enter their orders on computer touch screens instead of to human employees. This sounds like it also would appeal to control freaks, except the entry process is manipulated in a similar manner to those internet "slide show" click-bait stories where you don't find out what Tom Cruise's Ex from "Dawson's Creek" is doing now until the very last slide.

Battle of the Bathrooms, urban style


There are other noticeable non-uniformities from fast food outlet to outlet as well. The most insidious is probably how difficult it is to get in the bathroom of many urban fast food establishments. That's not just a transgender issue. Sometimes you need to be "buzzed" by the lady behind the counter to gain entry. You need to interrupt whoever she's waiting on to announce your need for relief. She decides which gender button to press, which may keep you out regardless of your self-identity. Or even if she presses the right button, the rest room may already be occupied, in which case the inside lock overrides the outside buzzed lock. And you thought North Carolina was confusing.

My newly renovated Taco Bell has a standardized floor plan in common with those in the suburbs, where the rest rooms are in a separate hidden vestibule off the door. This doesn't work well for the buzzed bathroom entry process because nobody in the restaurant can see who's coming or going to the rest rooms. So in the absence of such a rest room security protocol, there's no visual monitoring.

In some other establishments, like the recently closed Panera on Pratt Street, you need to punch a secret security code to get in. Or there might just be a threatening handwritten sign on the front door, like "We apologize for the inconvenience but rest rooms are for customers only." Such remorse.

Of course, we're not supposed to judge people by appearances. The guy who wants to get in the bathroom might be homeless and would otherwise do his thing in the alley. This may also be his only chance to get groomed before meeting up with someone who might give him a job for the day. The homeless guy could also be there to solicit your dollar welfare contribution at your table, thus cutting out Taco Bell as the philanthropic middleman.

On the other hand, many non-paying fast food bathroom trespassers (in my experience) are actually slim high-class ladies who look like they don't pig out on Double Chalupas and such and thus have no other reason to visit fast food joints but to relieve themselves.

I'm proud to say that the local Burger King on Chester Street on the east edge of Fells Point has totally open bathrooms (despite menacing signs that give them one last line of defense). This is a tremendous resource for local denizens. Other than BK, going to the bathroom in Fells Point can be even more difficult than parking. Moreover, they always charge the nationally advertised prices. And as a special bonus for me, they play 1970s progressive rock on their muzak feed, and not just mainstream Pink Floyd and Kansas, but hardcore obscure King Crimson and Peter Gabriel-era Genesis as well. I've been going there for decades, and I've never heard them succumb to Mariah, Madonna or Beyonce even once.

World Famous Chicken: A ro-fo economic engine (along with gas)


On the gas-convenience store side of fast food, Baltimore is famous for being the world headquarters of Royal Farm (aka ro-fo) Stores, which in turn is famous for its "world famous chicken". So it's not just crabs we're famous for. That may explain why the number and size of Royal Farms Outlets has been exploding around town, the "flagship"of which is probably the outlet directly across the street from the giant Horseshoe Casino picture window on Russell Street. That's an unabashed display of pure corporate power in a redevelopment corridor that's called Baltimore's "Gateway", along with the half dozen or so other gas convenience stores nearby.

The local Seven-Eleven at Broadway and Lombard Street in Upper Fells Point is also famous as a hang-out for day laborers. There were complaints about the resultant loitering, so the city put up a threatening sign that said loitering laws would actually be enforced after a certain date. But they conveniently left off the year of that date, so the sign could remain applicable year after year, and thus always be a hollow threat. We've all been told that illegal immigration from lower to higher-wage areas with a strong social safety net is a human right, so the proposed $15 an hour minimum wage raise would become even more significant.

On the other hand, we've also been told that increasing the minimum wage will reduce employee turnover, which means fewer job openings, even if employers somehow decide to employ more people at higher wages than they do now at lower wages. Which means even more people hanging out in front of Seven-Eleven looking for a one-day job.

On the third hand, employers who desire to pay higher wages to reduce turnover or attract a higher class of employees are already free to do that. It's not illegal to pay your employees more - although who knows what laws will be cooked up in the future? A maximum wage to enable employers to afford that higher minimum wage?

Fast food's accultural impact


It's difficult to ascertain how important fast food is to the local culture, but there are clues. Franchised fast food joints in general, and especially McDonald's, are essentially culture-free zones where all races, colors and creeds are treated equally. Equally well or equally badly - that's another question. But the corporate standardization subsumes most if not all cultural or other individuality.

What really matters is that the only sure way to avoid culture clashes is to have no culture at all. And McDonald's fills the bill. Taco Bell too, although there may be a lingering suspicion that words like "chalupa" have some insider "dog-whistle" meaning so Latinos can pull one over on unsuspecting Baltimorons. The local Burger King's prog rock background music and Panera's classical music are only a slightly different approach, presenting cultures that are so alien to the local populace that they might as well be from another world.

The greater cultural hegemony of fast food in the suburbs than in the city may help explain why racial and social integration have now often become more successful in the suburbs. Melting cheese leads to a melting pot.

The North Avenue McDonald's feels the need to post its rules of conduct,
 in the perceived absence of suitable or commonly accepted cultural norms.

But amid the dark urban crevices of the Station North arts district, McDonald's is a "Clean Well Lighted Place" where a modern Hemingway could hang out, 24 hours a day, except for the signs that say you must scarf down your food in 15 minutes or you could get the ole heave-ho. This McDonald's also declines to have a free beverage refill counter, unlike most McD's, BK's, KFC's and TB's. They take the "fast" in fast-food seriously. "Stay thirsty, my friends", as the Dos Equis hombre would say. Like locked rest rooms and extra-cost Chalupas, none of this happens much in the suburbs.

Alas, now that the old long-abandoned historic Parkway Theater next door has undergone its full elegant renovation, McDonald's has been cropped out of practically every picture and architect's rendering. We'll know the Station North arts district has really gone off the deep end if McDonald's is cropped out of real life as well.